Subject: The Oxford Dictionary's latest definition

orth

The Oxford Dictionary's latest definition of the
following words.

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*Divorce:
+ O8 d6 [+ q* E1 U3 Z2 S*Future tense of marriage*

Cigarette:
*A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire
  F. c# ~2 ~( R( Y0 vat one end and a fool on the other. *

Lecture:
*An art of transferring information from the
! d' M. e  p2 g6 dnotes of the lecturer to the notes of the
students without passing through the minds
of either.*
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Compromise:
*The art of dividing a cake in such a way that
% Q7 ]  G1 T' o0 s" h9 _everybody believes he got the biggest piece.*
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$ j8 O+ O6 w6 q/ s5 vTears:
*The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power
is defeated by feminine water power.*


0 V7 d& ?! a, e; R* z) |/ vDictionary:
; A! \3 K6 O) u' Q. a, F6 w' I" s*A place where success comes before work.*
+ @/ R1 l9 i7 y# ~
Conference Room:
*A place where everybody talks, nobody listens
) P) [8 h& B& ]8 \and everybody disagrees later on.*
; I# l9 }  q/ L' _  h, q  ?

0 G  h4 y% r& j/ h4 C# R: PClassic:
*A book which people praise, but do not read.*
, F) j& d/ _1 \7 |1 x1 q1 r2 x( R
/ ~; e$ N  W3 J- v2 i3 D2 SSmile:
*A curve that can set a lot of things straight.*


1 ^* B1 s& J6 v0 s1 K+ `' `+ F' mOffice:
2 C- b/ r2 o1 ^( i*A place where you can relax after your strenuous home
life.*
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Yawn:
. a. A8 k) J2 O*The only time some married men ever get to open their
mouth.*
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Etc:
*A sign to make others believe that you know more than
you actually do.*
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& W3 k$ f* R1 L/ S/ r5 QCommittee:
( W! E5 y' O5 Q: [* Q*Individuals who can do nothing individually and
sit to decide that nothing can be done together.*

Experience:
*The name men give to their mistakes.*
  e, G7 N: j. C* Y; H0 r

  k) R* Y# B4 bAtom Bomb:
*An invention to end all inventions.*
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! z0 w( |, V5 Z1 y! u& Z0 h5 @1 XPhilosopher:
. N0 j0 D6 Q: ]# f& V) F* Y*A fool who torments himself during life, to be
' O8 p: i: J3 R( \) l5 nspoken of when dead.*


Diplomat:
& O( g9 ^0 [" S*A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way
, F2 z5 A7 ^/ Qthat you actually look forward to the trip.*
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Opportunist:
1 A6 W9 d# W* r" N; c+ F$ h*A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally
  u! C% N5 M1 w( K5 lfalls into a river.*

: q  Y% Q' A4 j) k+ f( cOptimist:
& p, M* v: b) J3 n+ @) w$ u" u8 }*A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in
midway 'See I am not injured yet!!' *
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Miser:
*A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.*

Father:
) @8 F0 O: W% w7 j1 o( `4 N*A banker provided by nature.*


2 r# n7 N1 Z+ a+ |) Q6 V$ F& D$ uCriminal:
*A guy no different from the rest...except that he got
5 H) a! d9 F, A1 l. ocaught.*

. d6 e" S5 z4 kPolitician:
7 h" ^( I* c/ Y5 M. p*One who shakes your hand before elections and your
% M3 J% s) Z) q( ^% o& L1 P5 Mconfidence after.*


, [  }1 i+ f0 H& c4 y: tDoctor:
*A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills
" y" g' ^; u4 s$ o/ p9 }  l  ~you with his bills.*
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Boss:
*Someone who is early when you are late and late
when you are early.*

samsammi

$送花$ $送花$ $送花$

Arterix

ROTFL!!!!
I love it, the English humour!
7 l8 p) b; B  bSo black!

吉粒粒

:D :D $支持$ $送花$