Subject: The Oxford Dictionary's latest definition

orth

The Oxford Dictionary's latest definition of the
+ N) Y; W; Q7 s$ h- rfollowing words.

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" o6 U8 _7 C' S! T*Divorce:
*Future tense of marriage*

* C# k1 L* s& l; n3 e+ E# eCigarette:
*A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire
at one end and a fool on the other. *
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9 Q6 }0 f1 Z& a3 oLecture:
*An art of transferring information from the
notes of the lecturer to the notes of the
students without passing through the minds
' k3 U0 W" k. l& p% fof either.*

Compromise:
6 j' z; V7 t2 G; |  w*The art of dividing a cake in such a way that
everybody believes he got the biggest piece.*
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Tears:
% }; p9 }( N. j& U*The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power
is defeated by feminine water power.*

* [/ `  w8 g. e# E! H: A% B( U+ v
Dictionary:
*A place where success comes before work.*

Conference Room:
  O; T! Y* X) ~7 ^, V*A place where everybody talks, nobody listens
and everybody disagrees later on.*
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$ d8 w; V+ o1 YClassic:
*A book which people praise, but do not read.*

. h4 r+ B; D4 d4 vSmile:
, t: i) o# \/ w* O# o# j*A curve that can set a lot of things straight.*

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2 P6 [" C$ Y1 F! Y$ T: j; yOffice:
*A place where you can relax after your strenuous home
life.*

Yawn:
*The only time some married men ever get to open their
mouth.*

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Etc:
) K6 Q8 H$ a4 \4 s2 ^' s*A sign to make others believe that you know more than
you actually do.*
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Committee:
6 d( e6 E1 H( \$ O% W* i*Individuals who can do nothing individually and
: A9 |' U6 o" t& I; i) U1 jsit to decide that nothing can be done together.*
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0 h! J# b2 l! c9 g$ OExperience:
*The name men give to their mistakes.*
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/ a+ B8 M0 y5 }! S" HAtom Bomb:
*An invention to end all inventions.*
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& E: T6 K0 s! D. z+ ^1 e, K5 |Philosopher:
*A fool who torments himself during life, to be
% o3 N: h  a1 @3 s- kspoken of when dead.*

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Diplomat:
2 d  ]2 N# f1 K*A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way
that you actually look forward to the trip.*
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Opportunist:
*A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally
falls into a river.*

Optimist:
$ ]) _- ^3 |( x' e$ @8 ~! C*A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in
midway 'See I am not injured yet!!' *
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0 D; Z7 x; |: d/ C- K, m+ cMiser:
*A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.*

Father:
) \: A1 {8 a6 s  [$ D*A banker provided by nature.*

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8 _& }& U3 r' i  z% u! y7 N: YCriminal:
3 h2 B$ l/ h9 W9 o5 F$ O8 P2 r*A guy no different from the rest...except that he got
$ N" ~8 \* g) X7 U  d8 P# ^9 R7 r' wcaught.*
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; q6 G. |" r: f  r/ |Politician:
( ]2 I6 I* [, y. p: Q; J*One who shakes your hand before elections and your
confidence after.*
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$ v! f( L6 z* w2 U( WDoctor:
7 _: g. c( r; u; D*A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills
you with his bills.*

Boss:
' ?  D. l* e9 a4 Y*Someone who is early when you are late and late
2 M" I* U4 C; F- x, f* i* u, r5 ywhen you are early.*

samsammi

$送花$ $送花$ $送花$

Arterix

ROTFL!!!!
I love it, the English humour!
So black!

吉粒粒

:D :D $支持$ $送花$