Subject: The Oxford Dictionary's latest definition

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The Oxford Dictionary's latest definition of the
5 M  F  P$ _! R: A* ~following words.

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% ]  K$ I9 z8 W0 t9 z*Divorce:
*Future tense of marriage*

: }9 \8 ?: G; w. k4 TCigarette:
*A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire
6 H0 X9 q3 o. hat one end and a fool on the other. *
9 o# W" K- F+ ~4 B* }5 W% ~
Lecture:
*An art of transferring information from the
+ Q# h. S" g& c2 inotes of the lecturer to the notes of the
, L7 d. c4 O" R9 f0 H& Fstudents without passing through the minds
of either.*
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* |: K" ]9 a" {$ }6 o7 r  mCompromise:
: M/ m+ k3 a1 L! q6 A*The art of dividing a cake in such a way that
- t( r$ F( w& {: o6 o( Xeverybody believes he got the biggest piece.*

Tears:
*The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power
is defeated by feminine water power.*


Dictionary:
0 l$ y3 K2 ]! X$ x) t2 }6 }*A place where success comes before work.*

9 b, {* b, Y- m& d! f$ j3 M* gConference Room:
( Y3 B; [) E' s. V0 E" m: j) l*A place where everybody talks, nobody listens
9 o8 t; c4 l" H" L  p6 pand everybody disagrees later on.*


Classic:
; s) U* o! A) `/ r! W. S2 R*A book which people praise, but do not read.*

Smile:
" p/ }6 G* }: s6 |7 s*A curve that can set a lot of things straight.*


Office:
$ m6 H" }- v* g% Q*A place where you can relax after your strenuous home
life.*
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% l& W# y& I2 a- E' }: wYawn:
  v1 h2 q! C" n) y*The only time some married men ever get to open their
mouth.*
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, R4 M6 h/ c; zEtc:
0 o2 T& w# s0 c*A sign to make others believe that you know more than
- W" E; N: s5 |2 vyou actually do.*
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' T# |, B$ p6 C, b6 O. ZCommittee:
, s. C& F' r9 K( L: A1 z*Individuals who can do nothing individually and
1 m% h: _8 r- R) t8 csit to decide that nothing can be done together.*
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) b, O+ N, f' w) ^Experience:
% o# i) Q6 v' D9 s*The name men give to their mistakes.*
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Atom Bomb:
. P( d$ Q! l2 w# W*An invention to end all inventions.*

" @8 Y  |0 W  N; W. j9 V8 d- {Philosopher:
0 K: }' C; C6 V! C8 ?*A fool who torments himself during life, to be
spoken of when dead.*


Diplomat:
*A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way
that you actually look forward to the trip.*
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Opportunist:
*A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally
' V+ O7 l* f: |3 c) B3 f; jfalls into a river.*
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; ^: g$ `! V6 Y- g$ {( P; v- cOptimist:
& d. u9 w+ M/ y) W*A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in
" W) }' A3 K: K8 o" I" pmidway 'See I am not injured yet!!' *
' b+ p1 H( I( ^/ V+ a

, ]2 i$ A- G( F  k, R( C5 dMiser:
& d# z- f6 N) H*A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.*

Father:
*A banker provided by nature.*
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Criminal:
' V0 D! n/ e* [' d+ H*A guy no different from the rest...except that he got
6 h2 [7 l  y9 K$ y# m1 R0 Ucaught.*
* I. i5 |% L8 U! J: Q& v
Politician:
*One who shakes your hand before elections and your
  f; Z; K3 [" g; c" V4 Nconfidence after.*
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+ R4 ^; R  \' z
7 ]; A+ V! k! _+ X5 W1 S: k7 M9 @Doctor:
*A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills
5 P# c( G9 [) x0 f/ F" O/ G; Lyou with his bills.*
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. I7 N$ ^2 c# X. r+ t8 _Boss:
*Someone who is early when you are late and late
! e% y  F6 ^5 s  u5 G$ }( Vwhen you are early.*

samsammi

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Arterix

ROTFL!!!!
5 u( L1 o$ _& x( hI love it, the English humour!
So black!

吉粒粒

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