Subject: The Oxford Dictionary's latest definition

orth

The Oxford Dictionary's latest definition of the
following words.


*Divorce:
*Future tense of marriage*
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Cigarette:
*A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire
/ r1 `; x3 _% Dat one end and a fool on the other. *

Lecture:
*An art of transferring information from the
notes of the lecturer to the notes of the
students without passing through the minds
of either.*

Compromise:
*The art of dividing a cake in such a way that
7 b$ m, u8 C* K$ R- V+ h  geverybody believes he got the biggest piece.*

Tears:
*The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power
is defeated by feminine water power.*


6 A1 r; Q; ?3 b1 Q2 F3 NDictionary:
9 s% r" G  C& R, L1 E*A place where success comes before work.*

' f& e9 D, p! zConference Room:
$ p, M% o8 {: ^+ T- ]' S: A4 H' b& U*A place where everybody talks, nobody listens
and everybody disagrees later on.*


9 T3 ^/ m) R. \# n; I9 B/ T; |$ FClassic:
8 n: F& f0 B% N5 i. `; T6 a*A book which people praise, but do not read.*
5 N- }( v* E' l3 a
  S% d! @. G, MSmile:
: A# `" T- }' d7 H9 `* A2 @*A curve that can set a lot of things straight.*

( X" J) K0 \9 r
Office:
*A place where you can relax after your strenuous home
life.*
6 w2 ~" u- ^2 \3 |
Yawn:
, g+ t6 C. i9 K1 ~*The only time some married men ever get to open their
mouth.*

: X/ j; z* W. O# Q
9 c% F% g! Z# R) u1 ~Etc:
*A sign to make others believe that you know more than
you actually do.*

/ r  T( N- e0 p, z; X8 g7 x
: q1 W( F1 @5 `' C3 ~Committee:
*Individuals who can do nothing individually and
sit to decide that nothing can be done together.*
) [6 M$ K* J, a) D
Experience:
9 S" C( m+ Z7 }7 f*The name men give to their mistakes.*
7 o5 t) Z, G; S) ^- i5 x

Atom Bomb:
8 `/ X9 Y6 ?: f, o9 F6 b- h' S*An invention to end all inventions.*
& ?) E2 |9 P; q5 P( c% \" c
Philosopher:
  W- }# {+ P8 w0 i6 @5 f  ?*A fool who torments himself during life, to be
: l/ E* _3 X+ t1 J$ e- x5 a. {0 fspoken of when dead.*
/ `' ]5 U% G: ]4 W  P; s& ?$ b0 o2 q

Diplomat:
*A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way
9 n3 Y: o7 u/ k3 M* g$ j/ `that you actually look forward to the trip.*
" G8 N3 e* ?' u6 W

, n  `& g! t7 EOpportunist:
" U  F7 X; \' V5 k) h* w*A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally
falls into a river.*

/ N* T* t3 s: t1 `" [* f+ ~) G3 sOptimist:
7 |4 s! q# g/ ]1 ]7 n*A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in
! m$ k! }/ n$ {' o: gmidway 'See I am not injured yet!!' *
* O9 v9 k8 V+ m  i- K8 }  h- t
' P. S1 Q/ H6 u: M6 g2 ~
: X' C8 E+ M9 O0 s' {+ tMiser:
*A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.*
& J0 R" n2 t% [3 H: y6 B( U; X6 ]
Father:
*A banker provided by nature.*
. [% Z" `# u; F/ {& i. U: ]$ J

Criminal:
1 _1 }+ a5 r) V1 T  F; N4 V9 ^- v*A guy no different from the rest...except that he got
caught.*
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Politician:
+ H3 t/ m, G3 P. C' A) \" B6 A*One who shakes your hand before elections and your
confidence after.*
* y2 z0 Y7 X7 Z7 d

Doctor:
*A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills
$ L6 u" s$ B2 ~! gyou with his bills.*
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8 w: k9 S9 r/ T, ~. _5 \" o. p1 T6 nBoss:
*Someone who is early when you are late and late
/ T3 X, H2 [% w/ G& B; m# Awhen you are early.*

samsammi

$送花$ $送花$ $送花$

Arterix

ROTFL!!!!
- w, {. f0 X" r; `I love it, the English humour!
So black!

吉粒粒

:D :D $支持$ $送花$