Subject: The Oxford Dictionary's latest definition

orth

The Oxford Dictionary's latest definition of the
following words.
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*Divorce:
*Future tense of marriage*

Cigarette:
1 c/ A: v5 f5 H3 r/ }+ l& S*A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire
at one end and a fool on the other. *

Lecture:
*An art of transferring information from the
notes of the lecturer to the notes of the
5 d! E8 o- x6 h9 ystudents without passing through the minds
6 M3 Q3 @- R1 _  Qof either.*
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Compromise:
! E( Z* d" V; n7 R) K" `4 u# e*The art of dividing a cake in such a way that
. J2 a/ ]7 h, x( I4 Weverybody believes he got the biggest piece.*
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Tears:
# f; s% r1 s0 b; z) M+ o*The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power
is defeated by feminine water power.*
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Dictionary:
3 [, D5 J1 G2 ?9 T*A place where success comes before work.*
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Conference Room:
! e. N( C9 C% E! E. h8 K/ V: d5 p. T*A place where everybody talks, nobody listens
* Z! r2 \  w% z' N5 Vand everybody disagrees later on.*


' Y  l/ Z: p# w0 Z2 v$ ]Classic:
/ e4 G# B- d8 A8 S' d# b*A book which people praise, but do not read.*
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Smile:
*A curve that can set a lot of things straight.*
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Office:
% a1 O" j' e& ~2 \+ S+ w*A place where you can relax after your strenuous home
life.*

' F8 d# G/ e6 }Yawn:
2 ^# u" d) ^8 ~  w! ~4 M*The only time some married men ever get to open their
mouth.*
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Etc:
% _( i; I, a. W$ H*A sign to make others believe that you know more than
. F8 Q/ |, o, ^$ h# |7 i0 `you actually do.*
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+ [  g; @% x7 P" O3 Q1 T1 M% ]Committee:
$ Z8 J. r- D# P9 m8 y4 }2 V/ d9 n*Individuals who can do nothing individually and
+ j* d# |/ S1 q# G' i" h" Zsit to decide that nothing can be done together.*
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Experience:
*The name men give to their mistakes.*


, W( H9 L  ^6 d& b7 ]9 D. C! `Atom Bomb:
*An invention to end all inventions.*
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Philosopher:
4 {- K# _& q8 W6 A+ J*A fool who torments himself during life, to be
spoken of when dead.*
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: t/ V2 d% C( }" X' ~, vDiplomat:
% ?: t/ |& e% u) G- l# c*A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way
that you actually look forward to the trip.*


Opportunist:
*A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally
falls into a river.*

Optimist:
*A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in
* y  ]/ g) p; b# O, d" y) p* ^midway 'See I am not injured yet!!' *


/ S$ W3 v  R0 d( F/ [, BMiser:
) U6 d; X. k# I8 g5 Z) b. X*A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.*
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% X3 l, K8 |* ]% c* qFather:
*A banker provided by nature.*
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. m3 E: ^* F* h. yCriminal:
*A guy no different from the rest...except that he got
caught.*

Politician:
# p" j8 m( v4 i3 a*One who shakes your hand before elections and your
, V9 D( M3 l- w; u! w0 lconfidence after.*


/ V6 h0 b3 G) E% p+ _Doctor:
*A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills
$ k4 Q; ^. I1 [; w+ c9 ^$ n7 syou with his bills.*

7 m2 F* T, D6 o* [( aBoss:
: h% ]* e2 a  \1 ^*Someone who is early when you are late and late
when you are early.*

samsammi

$送花$ $送花$ $送花$

Arterix

ROTFL!!!!
I love it, the English humour!
9 F5 H. `7 p. @So black!

吉粒粒

:D :D $支持$ $送花$