Subject: The Oxford Dictionary's latest definition

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The Oxford Dictionary's latest definition of the
! ~  O% G) V' c0 dfollowing words.
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*Divorce:
*Future tense of marriage*

Cigarette:
*A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire
0 i2 _. l9 L" ?at one end and a fool on the other. *
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Lecture:
*An art of transferring information from the
% s( R& J0 f, X6 \4 w5 Enotes of the lecturer to the notes of the
students without passing through the minds
of either.*
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Compromise:
*The art of dividing a cake in such a way that
everybody believes he got the biggest piece.*
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Tears:
*The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power
is defeated by feminine water power.*
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  d. b/ P6 Y3 D5 T- O" [Dictionary:
! K+ @/ O, V& j*A place where success comes before work.*

5 _( K3 d4 A* ?& F# z& EConference Room:
5 M3 {' i9 }( L: f; ?4 x*A place where everybody talks, nobody listens
4 t$ e# F- ~7 l" [and everybody disagrees later on.*

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Classic:
*A book which people praise, but do not read.*
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/ b6 b+ @' F, N: cSmile:
, {' N3 I( Q; Z& k: s*A curve that can set a lot of things straight.*
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Office:
) ?$ K4 {, S8 {' O" W' R6 L*A place where you can relax after your strenuous home
2 V" [2 F5 o7 f/ I* Wlife.*

Yawn:
*The only time some married men ever get to open their
6 \! J$ w3 c5 j% I4 Q2 ?6 o# T" Dmouth.*
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- y; t, C' b) P) xEtc:
*A sign to make others believe that you know more than
you actually do.*

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Committee:
*Individuals who can do nothing individually and
3 b& p; G' g; V! t. K/ [sit to decide that nothing can be done together.*
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Experience:
" [) R5 K2 a! U) E+ N*The name men give to their mistakes.*
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Atom Bomb:
*An invention to end all inventions.*
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Philosopher:
*A fool who torments himself during life, to be
( a# M5 ?" ^% L6 I2 Z- H' zspoken of when dead.*


' T, Y1 N6 B" T3 k6 _9 m$ ^. x# kDiplomat:
*A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way
that you actually look forward to the trip.*

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! u* x7 l* q: JOpportunist:
*A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally
falls into a river.*
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5 u$ O- l& }* sOptimist:
' t; B$ C( y* W8 h, H% x: k3 ^*A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in
midway 'See I am not injured yet!!' *


Miser:
*A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.*

Father:
*A banker provided by nature.*

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6 f' c8 ^8 E% u, v3 TCriminal:
*A guy no different from the rest...except that he got
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Politician:
2 x, u, Q1 n8 _  [6 A- F6 n*One who shakes your hand before elections and your
confidence after.*

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, u4 j  a4 Z7 k. d( b0 M3 E% R* x" {Doctor:
*A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills
0 p8 l- v- G" |1 L3 kyou with his bills.*
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7 Z1 e, I& t) p1 ]" Q7 W9 q% {# ?Boss:
*Someone who is early when you are late and late
when you are early.*

samsammi

$送花$ $送花$ $送花$

Arterix

ROTFL!!!!
I love it, the English humour!
So black!

吉粒粒

:D :D $支持$ $送花$