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Ball & Chain Record Store by Ellyn Maybe
* }4 c% f3 B+ g5 {" k8 tBall & Chain Record Store
; ^( Y3 D! q1 h$ X6 d# V1 v+ f
`$ X- D- U! @% B& d, }$ d, @+ lSomeone came into the ball and chain# m) J/ j- s& Z6 N- c
record store I work at' f9 t, b: S2 _. z" \' Y' n& X
and said no bags, d5 h! p" K! P: t
a waste of plastic
# K% T0 P7 l8 I% I: S. w; b; ^7 S0 {& {1 f A: d
I said yes# l6 n' `. O! P4 H: S+ U, ^1 n
You must be a granola eating, left wing,0 k' ]' g& Z$ t4 n3 w' R
dig gothic, post-modernist, watch a lot) g7 d. ~9 o6 l$ V+ H) ?* S
of Billy Jack movies, Arlo Guthrie type2 Y, { a6 K' h# E: D! D
1 H4 Q1 s" v1 }. h% _; ]$ {He said yes
: Q$ X& l1 O: x$ E% s5 n9 UI smiled
7 Y$ r# N% H5 {+ F! F2 Q$ hI dream of Tom Waits fingerpainting" Q) C1 u: }7 p0 ?2 T% o
lightbulbs on my holiday wreath,0 X3 Q3 L0 j( s9 o
and I'm Jewish, pretty weird huh?
# T6 I3 C5 g4 `% V* E( ~: @. TI celebrate Tiny Tim's birthday
/ j9 o2 j+ u- i; X" N7 owith a parade of dancing deadheads. J! {* I ~ K9 p4 c, @
some who never sleep and some
r$ O0 H8 y* y. P1 w' `who never go to the bathroom4 Q+ O2 r4 C" y* U. i. S/ A
* P2 ^$ ` e! G" e$ R' E
His T-shirt said have you hugged
, O" `; c) R m' J) T; aa rainforest today?, j/ {. G4 A1 C0 r! O3 A9 v
9 o. m! ^* r I% H8 G! xI said I love the planet
+ S+ M( E0 K B3 }% Y9 R/ E: @! \but it's unrequited love
" y# A' C* ?0 g, `. R
( M* E9 k d7 Z- H g9 y$ LHe told me babe, you're bringing me down
; `2 {+ F% @5 c) f5 YWhen I was born my first word was ooomm2 l5 E4 B/ m& X& {- B
In kindergarten I organized the pacifists* ?" ?: Q9 O" _4 Z
to demand we didn't have to read: I) Z8 Z) @- `$ H; h, K
from Dick, Jane and Spot books
" n$ H; X. I% i$ M8 PToo generic
2 n/ t6 g) O1 R/ p. `$ x! N* O7 q5 X4 W; H6 N% {$ X7 g& x- k
I demanded we get American Indians
( Z- ]0 a3 I3 E# o. n: vto talk about what's real
9 a! T2 k4 ?9 G# YAnd I gave them my nap mat ]$ G5 \: u* M& y, [
cause it's their land and
! p. ]! U: \- TI gave them my peanut butter
9 H+ B1 p) P+ {% nand jelly sandwich cause$ ~0 H/ I" `" k* i7 g' m3 M' W; h
the buffalo have been murdered- b' b7 c/ g) B ^( H
and they need protein0 b! @ X4 x. C) m
# a: C6 M' m# d7 H6 S8 aHe blushed with passion and said
e; P' f' i8 {3 Atell me you
' L: ?- d6 S; P$ ~) R/ C% b( ?9 i; ?" u* V( A
Well, the first 15 years of my life ]2 V7 h9 Q) y+ F& _2 u3 N
I thought Barry Manilow was a sex symbol
, W+ T2 ^7 S# g' l0 gNeedless to say I got a sort of late start/ s) W8 O" `* }4 U
* g; P+ F& x6 C7 y4 w, k: G& v
at being at one with the cosmic heartbeat
8 @+ \) F$ g4 o* r/ X4 Z+ u) ^) e' e4 T! Y1 Y1 @) C
He gave me one of those looks7 i2 B) x; Y+ U8 I
like I better get this girl g5 M/ u' D: }9 J9 | Z v, W
some Jack Kerouac books to read fast1 s7 E- G; R4 H6 Z
before she suffers the confusion
- \9 Z+ m5 }5 H: ? {
3 U4 `& i6 S. x+ uof not knowing there's other existences
" [0 h8 h: u4 G! Ybeside the banal( I2 [, t' Y) P. O& h" ?( b/ N
* b, D5 @! o2 Z8 o; L6 L2 nI put my hands on my hips and squealed4 |1 h3 ^" {7 q+ s4 S$ ]
I read On The Road and the letters6 }& \: o2 ]5 C: T
. ~2 S9 \' z/ y4 t# b# jof Allen Ginsberg to Neal Cassady
6 ]* n! y: l* {+ D+ V aand vice versa4 c/ C0 D: r a6 T3 a, S2 V- R
( H9 T' |8 ]8 D
He said on Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday
( g/ ^* ^6 C9 f/ C+ `8 g% iI'm a part time Marxist6 t9 N- w( z6 P5 T9 B3 ^
He took out a beanie! y" I! M" T3 \( r( z) B7 M1 o
put it on his head' G& |# O* H! {
and began to chant
3 a; B% T o. p$ S/ P4 f4 w5 t0 w, ]* D& h1 O
This definitely turned me on
! s' x# h, U9 F5 A1 ]" B$ B$ ^
9 J% Y- ]8 k6 [, EAll of a sudden he began to sing3 s9 U( w) \! P$ C# \* u
the minimum wage workers' song
$ \/ N8 v; L3 ?
( l( c( [5 { u! w w; p+ W4 Uthe walls are full of faces6 m5 T9 C+ C( h6 _0 |, K5 ]
the mini-malls are full of neon
! Q) G$ c. l6 [# Ythe bitter bite the hands that feed them: \. j v& x6 P" t6 r
the food is a mixture of bone, blood
) Y; ^& ^. t. r" K" F8 r2 b4 t) F0 H& }and snails
; z/ p# \ i9 \9 i1 Uman is a cannibal
/ q7 N4 |; u$ Q! f+ i7 }+ g9 @
, y% m9 D, i# eI said wow! you are the sort of guy
3 B& \" }1 s3 `; B- k# m! Uwho says right on and really means it+ X4 u8 b# ?3 J# l
you probably only drink the milk
# C6 t, z' T L% X1 U. N( uof socially conscious cows5 b$ \7 Q) z' ~4 d4 Y. W; e Q6 Z
who voted Crosby, Stills, Nash
& G0 I; h* L3 j( Oand Young for president, @4 j" k2 a3 G& a. X9 v
8 }' k& m' ^3 h9 L k ?He screamed oh chick my life changed! ~4 `6 P2 m* ^ [$ n
in 1962 when I realized the Constitution( D6 Q9 D7 \% X8 `0 \' w! E7 Q
was written without women, blacks," J" Q& I) J: G( Z2 r& \
indians, and poor white men in mind$ t. M K2 V# K9 i1 V5 l6 U9 }
That was not o.k.
6 `* h7 V2 w9 F" o/ V/ mI became the Jackson Pollack of feminism1 i+ o' k; D& L9 N0 T
I threw paint of outrage everywhere; w+ z3 H9 F; h* z1 d1 B' |
I was a man who identified8 _% C( U$ V: ?4 I2 C y7 v
with Billie Holiday and Ernest Hemingway
! A$ F' X. I$ I* n5 JI was a traveler! m/ s: K# h9 {! P, B! s- ?
4 p2 J$ h9 y1 dSo what brings you into this
' x5 s& C% |& p) N$ X x3 bSan Fernando Valley air conditioned
2 |- X: U2 W4 Y4 H, I! Hintellectually malnourished video store& {% c. G. x/ I" s6 X4 r
with the exactlys?( q) x8 |! l2 V3 p: w% ` h
We open exactly at 10:008 V- t+ e" z" M" }2 v
Close exactly at 10:00
7 B) q9 @, N. s: K5 z6 e! o- V( M1 fNo matter what our karma
9 J2 S+ y" s4 g) c2 tDamn it's so crass,
5 x5 Q3 Y' S) k5 k3 v, d( k' J* yyou can't even rent The Last Waltz here |( I5 [- b* b, o+ S# S9 k
$ A' x% K; {% `1 V0 nHe said I'm in a competitive mantra makers# m- P3 B) q3 m
bowling league
0 I$ E: y3 X9 Z6 e# ~- u& Y% `We have weavers, chess players' G9 D% X: ~. E+ ^0 V
avant garde stamp collectors
; g R6 F8 R, j6 N& zand Hell's Angels
9 j5 g* D) F+ X8 \& s, X( gInventors all
& D" C$ s; |" W5 yWe bowl whenever the fuck
' J, V3 [5 ? E/ {the spirit moves us K4 M+ A) @) r" e. r3 B8 K
With any luck we'll be playing the. |: A" V% W. U6 ~& |' S* n/ B8 T( ^( S
New Age/lawyers/used car salesman league
6 B0 N* N9 l$ M i6 B/ Pagain real soon, d4 A2 o; P u4 O5 Z8 k1 {9 U
& c- R# n* ^2 Z' E$ G3 b
Hippies and New Age people are like9 [( _4 C7 N- |6 {' j0 t2 ^+ m
the difference between Bob Dylan and Bob Hope- O6 p, a. l' ~+ w
0 i7 }$ T8 ]) ~; z& g M4 h0 G6 O2 E1 i
He smiled and said do you want to bowl?5 t! w( D! B- n0 x
We are definitely into strikes) | b1 t8 E4 E6 m6 V
for the betterment of the worker
2 W9 K7 c( f+ m! tWe need someone who looks; t: u7 ~* l5 }, Q. J- R; g
like she could walk into the woods
' n: H$ ~6 p. v% sand find incense without getting poison ivy' l* D& d- v7 Z4 C2 K; h$ y Z+ @5 `
You look like Van Morrison
+ M# ?, N* g1 ~( v" R. lwhen you pout your lips
1 }; ~1 W5 q- c- `5 \/ z) a/ DYou could be a part of the father son and
% Q0 y2 N6 e& pthe holy ghost meshuganeh athletic league
! E/ M5 Q/ P8 X, ^3 a/ N! R" VBesides I love you- j( z6 x5 \8 H5 @+ [: y4 d j
2 X2 a. t2 k" Q5 [4 xI started to weep
$ n! f" j- j2 a, p' y( q: j6 P4 U# dTears of Bas Mitzvah cake. @' a8 z& i9 _* d
and tears of being the last kid picked
i' z, s( R( s2 d3 Pfor field hockey in gym class
. |2 N$ {) Q9 O5 f6 t" n1 K& PAuthentic tears
% f" D& ^) O. `Nobody ever said all that to me before8 j. H% X7 j2 j" ?! Y# `
I guess I kind of do have Van Morrison's mouth, @* M1 j) [. ]* a/ y9 o: u4 D
Why hadn't anybody ever noticed?
' x) D" D# l# d' P
1 q6 I2 c/ w7 @I said I love you7 x& ^* Z5 ^ x" q* i: j
But every free moment I moonlight at" o- E& F! M' w. V4 C4 K
Hairy Krishna Organic Coiffures
5 K* C* p% k+ |and Tea Salon
/ [3 W$ ^- x5 Q% `We use
/ u, x h5 t f) a! q: _no chemicals
9 H+ f$ o, `: u9 i$ Tno dyes- q8 ~+ k# ~ m9 r
no sprays) `4 s5 m0 L# X4 T! y X
no combs
) X& ]9 g$ w! r% N) w2 l0 Zno brushes
) r% Z$ Y( N1 f( [0 e8 GHell, you look pretty much the same going out: A4 Q% o& ]0 C
as going in4 W2 S# Y0 d* m7 H2 R9 L/ H4 B
+ U( I: P# u: d: x0 {He said what's a nice girl like you doing
& k! ]! R, o2 O& ]8 Kliving in a Republican administration+ @) e5 p/ _- `
like this?/ P2 z |, Q3 I% p
" G; y# b8 Y/ SThe manager of the record store comes over
2 J" Q# s" E8 _+ @and says8 F$ t: v. J7 T0 ?& A
you know the movie Fahrenheit 451
; l, O5 @- C6 n! F, j8 O- z) zCorporate has ordered us to burn it- S/ [- Z4 f0 l8 A' B: f+ f% p
Get to it!7 Z6 i# m4 Q6 M) F
Don't give me your damn whimpering5 ?; v- A6 J) S% O' z$ Y
Joan of Arc eyes k. o# f( C u
Lots of people would love to have your job! {/ J& }( l j' h, t
% B$ F& C+ a$ L5 L1 ?5 g: LI screamed pig PIG
7 `6 m- a7 J# w' v1 k% kYou are giving barnyard animals a bad name0 a9 x: o i7 ?: L3 z8 n* X5 [1 z
Cops are Pigs!
( x) k: D1 J& f6 s/ \Intolerants are Pigs!
. E. T" f. G) I4 a8 o3 {& y; mBigots are Pigs!
1 T, C5 g" k4 f! S6 v) }2 [5 M7 KEverybody who does it and says they're" P% \- a! o4 b- K$ }! j
just doing their job is a Pig!' E% [" o6 G1 Q- G+ w) X2 d9 @7 M
Everybody who does it to someone else3 i/ M5 ^3 l% k: P, I
knows what they are; K- V* G# k" T: O6 ]' ~
& T$ `4 B8 C* e1 M/ E$ KThis is my first day at the record store+ a M; t. V) G- J, I7 V+ [# p- ]
I guess if they want to have a quiet! p; R- M* c3 }4 c' f( q! l. V
complacent yes sir type of employee
, C; ?7 j* j# s8 Y( @& s- ~: Uthey ought to ask different questions( f1 }2 v. m) v2 Q
on the application7 l4 c% E, \3 ^
1 q5 w4 p& I2 k2 f$ x' C' |
like do you conform?, P" t/ P1 p9 Y; d9 D- k7 O1 A7 ~
like do you care that this is stolen land?
% ]+ Q" \! \* p" i& Alike do you believe in playlists?& y* @, p* T* }9 b
like do you believe in yourself?
, V7 o4 C. f. c2 c! Z9 `do you mind waking up alone/ n5 B) E/ N& {* e/ h" a
rather than being beat up with fists?
+ E2 p5 a6 |% j8 u5 [& @do you see the government is beating us up
$ l E" N& @ Yas bad as a knife in our elbows% b8 k7 a. T! ? d7 n9 }$ g/ Y
as bad as a slur in our ears: B3 k$ l [5 G; `
as bad as a rape1 B F% E7 \* p+ b" j/ O2 N
when we just wanted to be held
, y+ Y/ S- _$ \4 e# Z5 [- i
' _* C# o+ z, i7 g9 `# sAnd all they ask is7 q ?5 i% u; O
can you work part-time?( O# k1 Y9 s" |6 {, H {2 c
and what days can't you work?9 s& x; H* W k. p6 \2 |; h' Y
and they say whom do we contact4 U9 e0 J! e5 z. `) }" ]8 `
in an emergency?" Y4 E" |7 V" l0 n2 X( `
I said
' c$ E5 _. A6 O) s( C- G4 ~cause you need to ask that
3 P$ \* d* t3 C( L4 J' K' D5 Aconstitutes an emergency
" ]1 x4 L! e/ {6 d& G; aThe hippie said my name is Hell's Bell's
6 i1 U. W; m" m9 v* Ybut you can call me hope- ^8 M4 G! c9 w4 h
He said I dug you. Q# j: J8 m$ Y+ E; q7 N
Now I dig your whole being
3 V8 S: }$ u9 l% {/ S0 h
1 s# n( s( p/ R: n A7 D( T% TIt's strange/ |9 c: c& q! j$ Z
No matter how many nights I wake up unhappy
' O% g P0 B5 P5 e# I; X7 gthere is still a possibility of rising3 o+ L5 R p4 B8 D: e
into a change so easily
$ H3 @- k: g1 a2 FThe outlaw lives in a world! T# [6 u& } p' o$ v
where when he sees a mirror& u% R% T Y5 H1 A" O! Z
he sees a hero C9 n: `! ]0 R& Q( F$ T
And all heroes put their bellbottoms on
6 F9 ~4 x3 D0 e( D8 vone leg at a time
' I, u; u( Z: Z3 r! ?+ ?" ~3 K
7 J: w1 L! g4 I) H- v4 ~ K2 tLet's face it
& O, V* Z' q2 s8 Q; W9 _How can you trust money when3 ~" j8 N& d6 a9 b8 m3 ^
it's politician's faces printed on it
' a' m$ o! W4 c1 RMoney is sexist! ~" s- k! {, B# V) t
The only woman on so called American currency5 \; d) S" B" b* U4 t; P; L
which is really Turtle Island' T( M* }; j9 A* U! v1 ]0 D" u
to the Indians is Susan B. Anthony' \% Q h. k; z) C' I4 H1 P3 t/ B1 ^
and they stopped making those real fast m! Z! X, I6 V& D7 ?$ e7 S% r
$ F1 v' c; M0 B! w% ]6 E
Is money worth killing for?# x! R5 Z+ d& W0 `* T. J+ K
Is money worth dying for?
. y9 a- J+ z( \
1 O7 ]" v" v$ qI ran through the store singing
* G) W2 B, e: }* ~about William Blake's eyebrows
I4 _- e$ z" ~ C+ fand Walt Whitman's bellybutton( y7 N! x* n0 Z: y( f* Y
saying everything is alive
5 L) J# }3 u; m, Land everything is sort of adorable. ^1 {! _. v! g
; E: H8 z4 O3 P* @4 K1 Z# YI took paperclips and gave them
0 w" Z% {" C& T& J5 C4 [to loving vegetarian families) P' `! T7 M. P
who needed someone
: \, y. U# p) v, M: x* S" n3 M! R& u. Z6 V9 l/ `0 L
I took the bathroom sink and gave it a hug
' f3 u* h k7 B3 `* y7 m% R2 LI freed all the rubberbands!
* n+ Q9 C; J: Q' U) F& i& T
" j5 {: S" X+ SAnd I said to all the plastic bags
: n4 n$ E" f8 h& C$ h% L% XI will never burden you
- u% b7 C, D8 Z, r; L6 S# }' Bwith films weighing you down,/ {! d5 y9 s- U* q( c0 c; z
Perry Como cassettes,
$ t/ G. i( U b9 e, E& k! _2 z" Nor even a piece of Jerry Garcia's beard
. h( E* c9 ~& @6 k1 I/ n+ GWell maybe
: A l$ v9 I: I
( v+ S% }& G! a6 JBut I will never staple a bag1 c5 {. w0 [8 v, z- _" o
for you brought love
9 d0 O6 J% A5 \/ D# p: W; f$ K+ l, R9 j' z2 x" [
Most people tell me
$ l" D* S; ]5 E q" Dit was all the pop tarts I ate# @6 ]; u# S6 g
Some people tell me5 }$ m& J- \7 |, H
it was because I was a liar. f: [- ]5 V) ~9 V V1 e
And I said I'm too honest
+ ~7 R. V/ _0 L3 Xto be anybody's best friend, k/ A, t* N9 O6 C% b* \4 q( o, A
but at times nobody believes& A9 Z' C) ~" n9 H
this hippie ever even came by
9 Y a. w2 z' o7 v" @( b" Q7 A+ o. m
there are7 ?6 V5 [% C1 t# Z0 a
no lingering peace signs
' ~! c% U# k( X8 H6 Z* }/ nno incense
* B% X! e+ K6 u# F- Eno tea bags
9 t0 v" p' H1 |3 m. {% G/ L) l5 E% Yno fuck the fuckers pamphlets8 |* j( {! q2 W
yet I still can't even believe3 B$ X# a% j9 m
Abbie Hoffman is dead
q. O4 x2 S8 E: z; j' w. V+ w
0 W( r% A" p0 j) F+ @So my strengths and pains
* b# c& ]- v' b' }% j4 z$ v& U# Tare in my sense of wonder+ I- Z# t. }% y( |/ V
) ~9 Y2 b* w) q y7 U* O
All I know is I don't believe in
$ ] H. C a8 T' J. N0 b# I' f! T/ awearing sandals and argyle socks together
, K4 G) p q1 ^" x/ ?/ wAnd when I needed it most, hope was here
( K1 @ N, ^+ @% Z6 j0 E- Xchange must not be too far behind
/ U* }/ h$ c3 Z2 }1 I. i
9 E6 q3 v3 R0 b5 A$ |2 K `
% C+ o( @6 I' I( _0 |: |2 hEllyn Maybe |
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