自然层(感官):视觉(red maple leaves covering the path in autumn)、听觉(children’s laughter from the playground)、嗅觉(fragrance of chrysanthemums by the lake);
人文层(体验):周末和爷爷在亭子里下 chess、秋天和同学捡 maple leaves 做书签、傍晚买 street food(like sweet potato)。
3. 结尾(Ending Sentences):给出行动建议,呼应主题
原文结尾 “And if you introduce yourself to a friendly face, you are more than likely to experience local culture and customs first-hand.” 不是简单重复 “爱尔兰很美”,而是:
以 “互动建议”(主动和当地人交流)收尾,让读者有 “代入感”;
呼应开头的 “traditions”,形成 “景观 — 传统 — 体验” 的闭环。
学生写作借鉴:结尾可写 “在这个地方的小行动 / 感受”,例如:
“If you sit on the old bench by the river at dusk, you’ll hear the wind whisper—and feel like all your worries have gone.”
“Every time I leave the bookstore, I hold a new book in my hand. It’s not just a book—it’s a little piece of the store’s warmth I take home.”
正确:At the temple fair, I wait in line for crispy sugar figurines—my favorite vendor always makes a little rabbit for me. I also watch the lion dance: the “lions” jump over red gates, and everyone cheers.(具体场景:等糖人、看舞狮)。
用固定短语:a feast for the ears(描述学校的合唱比赛)、like a warm blanket(描述家里的沙发)。
2. 句式设计:“简单句为主,用衔接词让逻辑清晰”
原文以简单句和并列句为主,避免复杂从句,符合高一学生语法水平,同时用衔接词让内容有层次:
递进衔接:“Better yet”(“更棒的是”,用于引出比前一个场景更好的体验,如原文 “stop by a village pub... Better yet, enjoy a delicious traditional Irish Beef Stew”);
条件衔接:“If you...”(“如果你……”,用于给出建议,如结尾 “If you introduce yourself to a friendly face...”);
伴随衔接:“with...”(“伴随着……”,用于补充细节,如 “the peaceful landscape... with its rolling green hills...”)。
学生写作借鉴:用衔接词串联内容,例如写 “校园的花园”:
“In the morning, the garden is quiet with dewdrops on the grass. You can smell the roses near the gate. Better yet, if you sit on the stone chair, you’ll hear the sparrows singing in the oak tree.”