马上注册，结交更多好友，享用更多功能，让你轻松玩转社区。
您需要 登录 才可以下载或查看，没有账号？注册
x
Did you know that of the over one million marriages that will end in divorce
this year, two thirds to three quarters of those divorces will be filed for
by women? What is this so-called, "Walkaway Wife" syndrome all about?
In the early years of marriage, women are the relationship caretakers. They
carefully monitor their relationships to make sure there is enough closeness
and connection. If not, women will do what they can to try to fix things. I
f their husbands aren't responsive, women become extremely unhappy and start
complaining about everything under the sun...things that need to get done a
round the house, responsibilities pertaining to the children, how free time
is spent and so on. Unfortunately, when women complain, men generally retrea
t and the marriage deteriorates even more.
After years of trying unsuccessfully to improve things, a woman eventually s
urrenders and convinces herself that change isn't possible. She ends up beli
eving there's absolutely nothing she can do because everything she's tried h
asn't worked. That's when she begins to carefully map out the logistics of w
hat she considers to be the inevitable, getting a divorce.
While she's planning her escape, she no longer tries to improve her relation
ship or modify her partner's behavior in any way. She resigns herself to liv
ing in silent desperation until "D Day." Unfortunately, her husband views hi
s wife's silence as an indication that "everything is fine." After all, the
"nagging" has ceased. That's why, when she finally breaks the news of the im
pending divorce, her shell-shocked partner replies, "I had no idea you were
unhappy."
Then, even when her husband undergoes real and lasting changes, it's often t
oo late. The same impenetrable wall that for years shielded her from pain, n
ow prevents her from truly recognizing his genuine willingness to change. Th
e relationship is in the danger zone.
If you are a woman who fits this description, please don't give up. I have s
een so many men make amazing changes once they truly understand how unhappy
their wives have been. Sometimes men are slow to catch on, but when they do,
their determination to turn things around can be astounding. I have seen ma
ny couples strengthen their marriages successfully even though it seemed an
impossible feat. Give your husband another chance. Let him prove to you that
things can be different. Keep your family together. Divorce is not a simple
answer. It causes unimaginable pain and suffering. It takes an enormous amo
unt of energy to face each day. Why not take this energy and learn some new
skills and make your marriage what you've wanted it to be for so long?
If you're a man reading this and your wife has been complaining or nagging,
thank her. It means she still cares about you and your marriage. She's worki
ng hard to make your love stronger. Spend time with her. Talk to her. Compli
ment her. Pay attention. Take her seriously. Show her that she's the most im
portant thing in the world to you.
Perhaps your wife is no longer open to your advances because she's a soon-to
-be walkaway wife. If so, read the posts on the open messageboard. Don't cro
wd her. Don't push. Be patient. If you demonstrate you can change and she st
ill has eyes...and a heart, you might just convince her to give your marriag
e another try. |
发表于 2006-10-2 22:39
楼主