Good News and Bad News

tommy-chen

:D 看到一个笑话,让大家也乐乐
The soldiers had been marching and fighting,they were very dirty ,hot and tired.
: ~4 y7 C  \+ T) u4 e4 c4 f1 H; X/ cOne day,the General announced:"My men,I have some good news and some bad news for you
& D* j. |$ n+ @: b- mwhich one would you like first?" "the good news!" they all shouted. "OK." said the General "the good
news is that you will  each be receiving a complete change of clouthing"
2 x- k" Y6 ?; A1 W8 A7 ]* |  G& G"Hurrah!"chorused the soldiers."and now for the bad news,Jack,you will change with John.John,you will change
7 g7 e& b: K% P' j' U* B3 I( lwith Tom.Tom,you will change with***.and *** will change with .......

goldfish

A man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed.

" I4 a9 P1 j, m; @5 bAfter years of this the wife wants him to quit, so she gets two shot glasses, fills one with water the other with whiskey.

She gets him to the table with the glasses and has his bait box there too.
She says "I want you to see this."
" r2 G3 X$ \2 P* i( `# \She puts a worm in the water it swims around.
! Z! [! S; d  d$ d: YShe puts a worm in the whiskey and the worm dies.

8 w6 S$ I2 `1 k1 t9 @# b  \6 P# ySternly the wife remarks, "So what do you have to say about this experiment?"
- l' U6 s% Q" ?( b) i, i7 L
Cooly the husband replies, "If I drink whiskey, I won't get worms!"

tommy-chen

我也刚看到一个,顶楼上!!

ohye$ok$ ,再来一个
一位来自日本的旅客，坐出租车去机场的路上，看到一辆汽车经过，就说：“oh，TOYOTA！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”又有一辆经过，他又说： “oh，NISSAN！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”司机有点不高兴，觉得他太吵了！当第三辆经过时，他还是说：“oh，HONDA！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”

后来到了机场，那个日本人就问：“How Much？”出租车司机说：“1000！”

' n2 R$ Y) y: D7 k3 p- g4 N日本人惊奇的问司机：“为什么那么贵？”出租车司机回答说：“oh，mileometer（计 程表）！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”
:D :D :D

tommy-chen

中国建设银行——CBC (Construction Bank of China) ——“存不存？”
7 }* p! l; F: q7 K+ E中国银行　　——BC （Bank of China）——“不存。”
4 c( }& I9 T+ G- L中国农业银行——ABC (Agriculture Bank of China)— —“啊，不存”
. W" `& m' v9 g中国工商银行——ICBC (Industry and Commercial Ba nk of China)——“爱存不存”
6 t# b# I5 P% S6 Y招商银行　　——CMBC——“存吗？？白痴！”
6 h1 s3 {1 J! |. L  D1 O兴业银行　　——CIB——“存一百”
9 j1 K; ]/ S8 D北京市商业银行——BCCB (Beijing City Commercial B ank)——白存存不？”
汇丰银行　　——（HSBC）还是不存”