Good News and Bad News

tommy-chen

:D 看到一个笑话,让大家也乐乐
: j  a8 u' z5 YThe soldiers had been marching and fighting,they were very dirty ,hot and tired.
One day,the General announced:"My men,I have some good news and some bad news for you
which one would you like first?" "the good news!" they all shouted. "OK." said the General "the good
. O( x6 C" y9 P; _- ?news is that you will  each be receiving a complete change of clouthing"
"Hurrah!"chorused the soldiers."and now for the bad news,Jack,you will change with John.John,you will change
with Tom.Tom,you will change with***.and *** will change with .......

goldfish

A man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed.
$ i' K5 {7 A3 V1 g; Z
  C% o$ z% ~5 ]: b# U4 HAfter years of this the wife wants him to quit, so she gets two shot glasses, fills one with water the other with whiskey.

8 b4 K* P& h; {% A* YShe gets him to the table with the glasses and has his bait box there too.
She says "I want you to see this."
She puts a worm in the water it swims around.
She puts a worm in the whiskey and the worm dies.
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Sternly the wife remarks, "So what do you have to say about this experiment?"
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6 |7 Z+ ?% ?# n# `$ Y  KCooly the husband replies, "If I drink whiskey, I won't get worms!"

tommy-chen

我也刚看到一个,顶楼上!!

# y% X* [" b1 m! Nohye$ok$ ,再来一个
一位来自日本的旅客，坐出租车去机场的路上，看到一辆汽车经过，就说：“oh，TOYOTA！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”又有一辆经过，他又说： “oh，NISSAN！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”司机有点不高兴，觉得他太吵了！当第三辆经过时，他还是说：“oh，HONDA！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”

后来到了机场，那个日本人就问：“How Much？”出租车司机说：“1000！”

7 S( w0 \+ e  n# m4 ]日本人惊奇的问司机：“为什么那么贵？”出租车司机回答说：“oh，mileometer（计 程表）！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”
6 {  X5 G' @. ]" b9 U4 N:D :D :D

tommy-chen

中国建设银行——CBC (Construction Bank of China) ——“存不存？”
4 @. ]* A/ W, t7 \" e中国银行　　——BC （Bank of China）——“不存。”
3 G  d4 V0 N; g! J$ c# K中国农业银行——ABC (Agriculture Bank of China)— —“啊，不存”
; Q8 F: N; r  T中国工商银行——ICBC (Industry and Commercial Ba nk of China)——“爱存不存”
# ]5 `& c: J0 J' {, v% j' Y3 L招商银行　　——CMBC——“存吗？？白痴！”
7 R% y* s7 _+ V7 L3 ~兴业银行　　——CIB——“存一百”
# y8 q: k, f# g" `北京市商业银行——BCCB (Beijing City Commercial B ank)——白存存不？”
汇丰银行　　——（HSBC）还是不存”