GREETING CARDS THAT NEVER GOT PRINTED

tonyline007

I always wanted to have someone to love.  And now that you've come into my life...
$ N1 s- H' A0 g3 {1 n: D, d% a(Inside card) - I've changed my mind.

I must admit, you brought religion into my life...
(Inside card) - I never believed in Hell until I met you.
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As the days go by, I think how lucky I am....
(Inside card) - …That you're not here to ruin it for me.

9 \& X3 u: l# g7 _7 }; nCongratulations on your promotion. Before you go....
(Inside card) - Will you take the knife from my back? You'll probably need it again.
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Congratulations on your new bundle of joy....
$ e; o$ A4 [1 C2 e(Inside card) - Did you ever find out who the father was?
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You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket...
- }, [0 b3 V* ~! h: _+ z. C(Inside card) - I'd miss you terribly and think of you often.
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Looking back over the years that we have been together, I can't help but wonder.....
$ ]! _1 ]1 s6 z8 A(Inside card) - What the hell was I thinking
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Thank you for being part of my life.....
(Inside card) - I never knew what evil was until I met you!

Congratulations on your wedding day!
(Inside card) - Too bad no one likes your husband.  
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) L: e1 [' Y- ~; S# Q$ \( wHooray.....
! d  J8 H: g9 \; n4 a  Y3 n* B(Inside card) - You're divorced.
I just want you to know that I'm sorry for what happened...
3 l, r& |$ x; N6 u(Inside card) - Especially since you survived.

Congrats on getting married...
(Inside card) - It's not everyday you decide to ruin your life.
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Someday I hope to marry...
(inside card) - Someone other than you.
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& d& k% F% H+ J+ {We have been friends for a very long time...
(inside card) - What do you say we stop?
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# ]4 ^0 X$ K/ m) t  UAND MY THREE PERSONAL TOP FAVOURITES:

9 t. a- j( b7 \& e4 |Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday...
(Inside card) - So we're having you put to sleep.

. Q1 t4 T2 i1 I7 A/ C' d% E5 UWhen we were together, you said you'd die for me...
5 k+ k5 L% X  N(Inside card) - Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your promise.

! j& o4 ^( E3 Y) z8 OLastly, for any friends in California or who have too much money:

& C. q! V8 j4 a4 w' KHappy Birthday! You look great for your age....
(Inside card) - Almost lifelike!