GREETING CARDS THAT NEVER GOT PRINTED

tonyline007

I always wanted to have someone to love.  And now that you've come into my life...
7 W6 f8 D& a/ j7 s1 j(Inside card) - I've changed my mind.
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I must admit, you brought religion into my life...
(Inside card) - I never believed in Hell until I met you.

) D; K+ H/ O. vAs the days go by, I think how lucky I am....
. J8 H: i5 ?& W: x! U(Inside card) - …That you're not here to ruin it for me.

  _7 Q0 d' ?, J* ?( o  ~* u/ UCongratulations on your promotion. Before you go....
(Inside card) - Will you take the knife from my back? You'll probably need it again.
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6 P. Q- `0 E, I/ OCongratulations on your new bundle of joy....
6 Y' W3 {, x& B" G2 o9 M(Inside card) - Did you ever find out who the father was?

9 V+ C( [% Y7 C' i; \6 }" sYou are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket...
0 O$ g" m/ r. c% C& O(Inside card) - I'd miss you terribly and think of you often.

Looking back over the years that we have been together, I can't help but wonder.....
(Inside card) - What the hell was I thinking
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Thank you for being part of my life.....
(Inside card) - I never knew what evil was until I met you!

4 x; X5 B6 L) sCongratulations on your wedding day!
  i0 y9 q8 \6 P, e/ O(Inside card) - Too bad no one likes your husband.  

: J$ M6 z% U" |2 N4 x$ ~6 AHooray.....
(Inside card) - You're divorced.
I just want you to know that I'm sorry for what happened...
1 R; e9 N! I1 x9 P( F+ D$ l(Inside card) - Especially since you survived.

Congrats on getting married...
(Inside card) - It's not everyday you decide to ruin your life.
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Someday I hope to marry...
(inside card) - Someone other than you.
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We have been friends for a very long time...
(inside card) - What do you say we stop?
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AND MY THREE PERSONAL TOP FAVOURITES:

Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday...
9 T# z/ ], k+ @, C(Inside card) - So we're having you put to sleep.
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" D  Q5 R$ f1 D1 j1 E* f+ TWhen we were together, you said you'd die for me...
(Inside card) - Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your promise.
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Lastly, for any friends in California or who have too much money:

Happy Birthday! You look great for your age....
- D; C. [/ T& I) _, S9 F(Inside card) - Almost lifelike!