GREETING CARDS THAT NEVER GOT PRINTED

tonyline007

I always wanted to have someone to love.  And now that you've come into my life...
* M( G! b; j( h" g" _( r(Inside card) - I've changed my mind.

" J/ w. B. u( @" w1 {7 sI must admit, you brought religion into my life...
(Inside card) - I never believed in Hell until I met you.
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8 y: a$ Q) R' S* `: W  CAs the days go by, I think how lucky I am....
1 V9 I) n4 _: X; k& t(Inside card) - …That you're not here to ruin it for me.
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" m8 `2 u& m: `2 w& R2 s, S6 NCongratulations on your promotion. Before you go....
. B' O) t' T: `4 a$ `' R(Inside card) - Will you take the knife from my back? You'll probably need it again.
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1 J; {6 [( }1 D1 W/ d& ]Congratulations on your new bundle of joy....
/ |8 e9 c$ N' k! C: X(Inside card) - Did you ever find out who the father was?

5 C' x6 |, W( o& o9 N+ eYou are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket...
. [  [6 V  o7 d5 T3 O+ D(Inside card) - I'd miss you terribly and think of you often.
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Looking back over the years that we have been together, I can't help but wonder.....
(Inside card) - What the hell was I thinking
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- g3 ^, r5 L& \$ iThank you for being part of my life.....
(Inside card) - I never knew what evil was until I met you!

" w5 h& j/ q( QCongratulations on your wedding day!
! z: m8 y* g5 o. H# S; p2 B(Inside card) - Too bad no one likes your husband.  

- u; H5 G7 k7 D4 m5 d' s6 }  gHooray.....
+ h* Z1 u+ X3 f) `2 b/ P2 |(Inside card) - You're divorced.
I just want you to know that I'm sorry for what happened...
(Inside card) - Especially since you survived.

Congrats on getting married...
(Inside card) - It's not everyday you decide to ruin your life.

9 f# \+ M8 \# C$ i1 n, N1 C* NSomeday I hope to marry...
(inside card) - Someone other than you.

We have been friends for a very long time...
(inside card) - What do you say we stop?

AND MY THREE PERSONAL TOP FAVOURITES:
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Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday...
(Inside card) - So we're having you put to sleep.
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1 ?- U6 o" e/ K( [# h( pWhen we were together, you said you'd die for me...
(Inside card) - Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your promise.

( F7 {) S0 U+ zLastly, for any friends in California or who have too much money:
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Happy Birthday! You look great for your age....
: d/ H3 n/ d" l& ](Inside card) - Almost lifelike!